home again!

Friends! We are nearing the end of month two and I’ve hardly updated. The window of time between one twin falling asleep and the other waking up is sometimes not even long enough for a bathroom break, so unfortunately blogging is falling to the bottom of my priorities list. I had grand visions of tracking their first year with weekly posts…seeing that we’re 7 weeks in, a bi-monthly update might be more realistic. 
Now that we are home from Colorado and without live-in visitors, I’m finally on my own for large portions of the day when Drew is teaching or prepping for class. (He just wrapped up another semester teaching 4 classes at two different colleges, while working part time for ICS. He’s amazing.) So far this has gone pretty well, we’re not in a strict routine but some sleep/eat patterns are emerging which means occasionally both are conked out for an hour and I can throw in some laundry. By occasionally I mean this has happened exactly once. But I have hope for the weeks and months to come!
This blissfully un-structured, un-scheduled summer before us has brought on a funny anxiety about all I’m not doing, as if someone will catch me cuddling my gassy little man while surrounded by laundry and dirty dishes and shake their head in disgust. It is hard to fully embrace the simple goodness of getting to spend my days with these two little monsters without trying to do more. But I’m learning.
It helps that I feel like a new person since shedding 50lbs (!) of baby/pregnancy weight. Suddenly it isn’t so impossible to go for a walk or run errands or cook a meal because my body isn’t so fatigued with the simple necessities of daily life. Although nursing two babies makes me ravenous, it is far less taxing and I am really enjoying the milky smiles and nursing cuddles the three of us have together. Sometimes it strikes me as absolutely incredible that my body not only grew these sweet ones but can now actually produce food to put little rolls on their thighs. And then sometimes it already feels perfectly ordinary, enough so that I grow tired of the routine and demanding schedule and chomping gums. Ever in flux. 
I suppose I’m learning the mundane and how to live simply and fully in each of these small moments without assigning too much weight or significance to the things left undone. As I’ve been learning some variation on this theme for the last number of years, I’m feeling grace for the months and years ahead. Today it feels like a fabulous adventure!
Let me tell you about my sweet babies. Rowan is a little frog/worried old man, ever drawing up his little legs to combat his gassy nature with a range of facial expressions from concerned to suspicious to terrified. He’s just started to smile this past week, reassuring us his worried looks do not necessarily reflect his inner thoughts. He coos in protest and in delight, loves to be bounced and on the move and, due largely to the amount of screaming and ab work that accompanies it, he’s got quite a lot of neck control and likes to be held up where he can look around. He’s a cuddly kid, Drew often straps him into the ergo while he’s doing things around the house and Rowan quickly nestles in for a cozy little nap. 
Evelyn is adorable and crazy, definitely a very intense child and I’m already bracing for toddlerhood. She wakes up screaming – the red-in-the-face, not breathing kind of screaming, as if she’s been trying to get our attention for hours and is finally using her last attention-seeking resort. She usually wants to eat IMMEDIATELY and lets us know by making a series of ravenous bear cub noises, complete with snorting, growling and chomping.  However, after she eats she usually settles in to be cuddled or passes out again pretty easily. The last week or two she’s had a few more hours of wakefulness and is getting better at tracking faces and sounds. She particularly enjoys sitting in a vibrating baby seat and starting at our white walls. Easy to please if you just give her exactly what she wants exactly when she demands it!
It is so funny to watch these two grow and already be so different even so young. I’m trying to guard against comparing them to each other, it is so easy to expect that as soon as one has a new trick the other will immediately take it up as well! 
But, it has taken the better part of two days to write this post so I’m going to call it before another meltdown delays it even further. Here’s a smattering of photos from our time in Colorado, we arrived when the twins were 2.5 weeks at left at 6 weeks. Such a difference!

 (screaming baby photos are sort of my favorite. when else are newborns so animated? I love it!)

Just about one month in. My mom found these adorable matching sleepers that just begged a mini-photo shoot. The twins mostly cooperated…

This was on their one-month ‘birthday’. Little stinkers. Apart from propping them close together on the bed, none of these are the least bit posed. These kids squirm!
 (my favorite)

Their first baths were a matter of necessity and not prime photo ops so these are from…sometime after that first one. There have been many. Nothing seems to soothe a stuffy nose like a warm shower with mom!

Ruth, John and their wonderful little family drove down for the twins’ first playdate. 🙂 
Ruth and I met in 6th grade, survived middle and high school together and 14 years later we’ve got quite the crew! 

 my worried little man

my teeny tiny girl
 skyping with uncle nate

🙂 Birth story to come soon!
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