This man. Can I just tell you what a typical Drew-day is like?
5:50am. Wake up with the twins. Change diapers, bring them in to nurse.
6:10. Julianne ‘accidentally’ falls back asleep. Quietly herd children to living room.
6:15-7. Clean kitchen, empty dishwasher, make breakfast, feed twins.
7. Smile sweetly when Julianne emerges and offers her usual lame apology. You tell her you actually like waking up early and it’s no problem. Feed her a delicious veggie and egg scramble. Clean the children and wipe up under the high chairs.
7:10-30. Cover kitchen table with a half dozen commentaries and history books for morning devotions. Julianne mentions you could maybe scramble the eggs differently to make them fluffier and you don’t even get a little bit mad but instead apologize and promise to do it better tomorrow.
7:30. Ask Julianne what her day looks like and if there’s anything you can help with before you leave.
7:31-8:30. Do all the things she thinks up while she slowly collects herself and gets the twins dressed. Put the twins down for a nap.
8:30. Shower. Get dressed in fancy professor clothes. Tell Julianne she looks so beautiful in her leggings and maternity tunic. (The one she bought on clearance at Target just last month.)
8:45. Make your own lunch. Kiss Julianne. Go to work.
9-7. Spend the whole long day doing advancement work for ICS, writing curriculum, prepping for class, grading and responding to student emails. And also Julianne’s emails.
9-7. (alternate schedule) Try to ‘work from home’ to help Julianne because she is feeling sick/sad/frustrated/overwhelmed/misses you/has a dentist appointment smack in the middle of the day. Get just slightly more than nothing done.
7. Return home to the house in a disaster state. Julianne apologizes that dinner only just got started. You assure her it’s no problem. She picks a fight with you about how you want to eat a snack because she feels guilty about dinner not being ready. You apologize and ask how you can help.
9-11. Wash dishes. Put in a few more hours of work.
9-11 (alternate schedule) Have long intense conversation with Julianne about: marriage, family relationships, mental health, the future, faith, or something one of you recently read in the atlantic/heard on NPR. This may or may not turn into a huge argument. It will be exhausting either way.
11. Start heading to bed. The twins are crying, bring them to Julianne for their night-nursing. Pick up bedroom, move piles of clean laundry back into the baskets. Assure Julianne it’s no problem she didn’t get them folded today (again.) Commend her for finding time to get the load through the washer and dryer. Offer to massage her feet/back/ego. Tell her how lucky you are to have her.
11:45. She finally stops talking. Sleep at last.
So obviously we have to do some serious celebrating of this most excellent husband and papa. We started last week with an impromptu trip to the splash park (Drew’s first time. He was VERY excited (see above)). Then on Saturday he did a lot of cleaning while I went for a bike ride (oops.) and spent a few hours work-working in the afternoon before a friend’s pool party. Sunday I was back on my game with breakfast in bed and gifts of booze for the good man + a tie he didn’t like. It was a gamble. I’m going to give myself a pass on that one.
We coaxed a few smiles for a father’s day photo before depositing the children in bed so we could eat fancy homemade crepes in peace. But, peace was too boring so instead we had an emotionally charged conversation about if we will ever consider having more children and when and why and the ethics/weight/importance of that decision. (somehow during the course of that conver-fight it became my goal to get Drew to say he never wants to father another child just so I could use the weight of the day against him. I am THE BEST SPOUSE EVER.)
When that blessedly ended we got to FaceTime with our own Dads and share in the chaos of our messy and exhausting home. Also, Evelyn finally decided she wants to learn to walk and starting standing on her own/cruising around with her little walker. Of course, Rowan is her faithful cheerleader.
Thankfully I got one last chance to redeem myself and attempt to express the depth of my gratitude for all the ways that Drew picks up my slack by allowing him to do his usual morning routine while I beautified myself for a trip downtown with our whole little family! I did pack the diaper bag all by myself and I nursed the children (my one faithful contribution to our parenthood) and then we hopped on the train for a wonderful afternoon of picnicking and music and splashing around in the fountain. It was delightful in every way.
Drew, you have become a fuller, more patient, gracious, loving and generous version of your (already incredibly kind and thoughtful) self since becoming a papa and I am so happy to be enjoying all the benefits of your fatherhood. Rowan and Evelyn are so lucky to have you. (Even if you didn’t give birth to them, but if you had what would I have to hold on to when you do all the nice things and wash all the dishes?) (how long can I milk this?)(you are a saint.)
We love you!